Jewish girl calls her mum....

A Jewish girl calls her Mom and tells her 'Mom, I'm getting a divorce !'

'A divorce, why ?' she says

'Mum, he's crazy for bum sex, all the time. When I first married him, I had a bumhole the size of a 5p piece. Now, its the size of a 50p piece !'

'Sweetie, you have a lovely home, a Porsche in the double garage, a platinum credit card, 4 holidays abroad every year, and you want to give all that up for the sake of 45 pence ?

A London lawyer and a Yorkshire man are sitting next to each
other on a long flight to Leeds . The lawyer is thinking that
Yorkshire men are all 'cloth cap and clogs' and that he can fool them
easily...




So the lawyer asks if the Yorkshire man would like to play a
fun game. The Yorkshire man is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he
politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and says that the
game is a lot of fun.
'I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me only £5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you £500.'



As may be expected, this catches the Yorkshire man's attention and to keep
the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth
to the moon?'
The Yorkshire man doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a
five-pound note, and hands it to the lawyer.


Now, it's the Yorkshire man's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a
hill with three legs, and comes down with four?'


The lawyer uses his laptop, searches all the references he knows.

He uses the Sat-phone; he searches the Net and even the British Library.
He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to
no avail. After over an hour of searching, he finally gives up.


He wakes up the Yorkshire man and hands him £500. The Yorkshire man pockets
the £500 and goes straight back to sleep.



The lawyer is going crazy not knowing the answer. He wakes
the Yorkshire man up and asks, 'Well! What goes up a hill with
three legs and comes down with four?'



The Yorkshire man reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer £5
and goes back to sleep.




Don't mess with us Yorkshire men; we only talk different!!!

I love it. Has taken me a while to stop laughing so I could post!!!!!