I've had a dream

Dead vivid it was. We were in the Top club in Bentley watching a bloke on stage who was billed as a ‘ventriloquist fortune teller’.

The ventriloquist opened the show with his dummy asking the audience if anybody had ever seen a ghost. to which about 50 people raised their hand. “That’s very good” said the dummy.
Next he asked “has anybody ever touched a ghost?”, and about 8 people raised their hand. “That’s excellent”, he said.

“Now then”, he asked, “has anybody ever made love to a ghost?” to which a big fat bald bloke wearing a L**ds utd shirt raised his hand.

“That’s remarkable”, the dummy said. “This is the first time in my entire career that someone has answered yes to that question, please come forward”.

“Now then”, said the dummy, “tell us about the time you made love to a ghost”.
“OH, GHOST!” said the L**ds fan, “I thought you said GOAT!”

Once the laughter had died out the dummy asked the L**ds fan to hold out his hand. He then studied it and said “you have been masturbating”. The L**ds fan said “hey you are good. You can tell that just from my hand?” The dummy said “No, I can tell by your face you ugly f****r. The L**ds fan objected to this and shouted abuse. The ventriloquist apologised to him and said that it was only banter and that he used the same material wherever he performed, and it wasn’t personal. In reply to this the L**ds fan said “shut it, this is nowt to do wi’ you, I’m talking to yer little mate.”

Next thing after it was explained to the L**ds fan that the dummy wasn’t real, he asked what the score will be on Saturday between L**ds and Donny Rovers. Now whether he said it to pacify the L**ds fan I don’t know, but he said L**ds would win the game 1-0 with a late goal.

Quality dream there mate, think you got the result wrong though

Anything to pacify those poor Weeds fans eh BB............made me chuckle anyway. Shame you couldn't remember the punchline i.e. the mighty Rovers to snatch victory 1-0.